january 8

but a legend's only a lonely boy when he goes home alone Working where I do (at a leading daytime drama -- soap opera to you --  magazine), is a pretty good deal. Unfortunately, there are those down sides. Like, when you have to explain where you work. Now, take it from me -- I've been doing this three years; I have a healthy (though not obsessive) respect for the people and writers and producers in the biz. It's the kind of thing you only understand after truly working on the inside for a while. 12+ hour days, 60+ pages of mostly dialogue per day, no reruns -- it's a wonder it can be done, or that it was once done live. But for most people, soap operas are one of life's more frivolous notions, and to some, they just fill up daytime with repetitive blather that could be lent to more substantiative things, like, say, a rerun of I Love Lucy.  No matter what people think, there's always a response, always a reaction. A lot of the time, my job admission lets them come out of the soap closet and they admit they know more about a particular soap than they really intended to let on. And then there are gems like these (all of which really happened):  UPS Conspiracy Me (calling UPS to have a package re-delivered not to my home, but work address): Here's the address to send it to. It's my work address. Soap Opera....  UPS Woman (suspicion clouding her tone): Oh, you're one of those people.  Another....  Know It All Whilst at my godmother's for a latke party over Hanukkah, a very annoying Noo Yawk, slightly older woman made a point of being an expert on just about every subject, and not only that, "right," to boot. You know the type. Doesn't have to be from Noo Yawk. She just was.  Me (after prompting from mom): Yeah, I work at Soap Opera..... Know It All (haughty, superior): I've never seen soap operas.  Me: Not even ER? That's a soap opera, you know.  Know It All: I don't watch much TV.  Me: Well, someday, you'll be old. (Dramatic Pause) And you'll watch a lot more soap operas than you ever expected you would.  And finally (for now):  The Idiot, (Or) Why Are The Dumbest People At Delivery Services? Me (Calling Airborne Express to have a package picked up at work in the morning): The address is Soap Opera...  Idiot: (Makes soft snicker) Me: (Giving out the rest of the address.) Idiot: So, you ever read that magazine?  Me (pausing, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It doesn't): Nope, never read it before in my life. Idiot (stunned silence): But, of course you read it, right? You work there, right?  Me: Yup.  Nice how he answered his own question.