june 12 have you been to the edge lately? there's a mall there Okay, so this is the kind of nutcase (with a little too much free time at work) that I've become. It went a little something like this: Discover the Toyota Comedy Festival is coming to town. Knowing that mah fave comedian Marc Maron is going to be appearing, I have a sudden uncontrollable urge to visit his website. Or maybe it went something like: Tiffany and beau said they couldn't join me, so I went to find a day on his website when he would be performing so that all of us could go. (I was going to the Toyota Comedy thing anyway, but I love initiating the virgins.) Once there, I discovered he had a "biography" up. And a sad (and unfunny) thing it was.
MARC MARON BIOGRAPHY My former publicist used this paragraph to open my old bio. "Marc Maron is a stand-up comic by trade but his performance style is anything but the typical set-up-punchline formula. Maron engages his audience as a storyteller with an intelligence that digs deep into subjects illuminating common truths that usually go unseen. There is a thought provoking excitement watching Maron take the risks of uncharted territory and riffing on subjects ranging from corporate domination of the planet to why the cooking channel is the only pure television. He always manages to ride that fine line." He was very proud of this paragraph and I think it's a pretty good description of me so I leave it here as the opening of this Bio. I have appeared on many a Television shows. The first, going way back, An Evening at the Improv in the late eighties onward and up through two appearances on The Late Show with David Letterman. I was the host of Comedy Central's Short Attention Span Theater for a year. I guest hosted four episodes of Later on NBC. In 1995 there was a half-hour special on HBO and one on Comedy Central in 1998. All and all there have been about twenty five chats with Conan O'Brien on Late Night, a few with Bill Marr on Politically Incorrect and about twenty other TV appearances here and there available upon request (whatever that means). There was a recent appearance on NBC Late Fridays with the silver suit first seen in my second Letterman appearance. I am currently appearing on the Gotham Show in a recurring segment called the Gotham desk on the Metro Channel. Last year, that being the big 2000, I wrote and performed a one-man insanity called Jerusalem Syndrome Off-Broadway at the Westbeth Theater and received very favorable notices. Jerusalem Syndrome is a poetically paranoid rant on corporate culture and the quest for spiritual fulfillment. The show chronicles my personal search for religious meaning in such disparate locals as Jack Kerouac's grave, Hollywood, Phillip Morris headquarters, and finally Israel. I performed the show at the prestigious U.S. Comedy & Arts Festival in Aspen to rave reviews and sold out houses. A book based on the show and of the same name is to be out in the fall 2001 on the Broadway Books imprint from Random House. The film stuff is thus: I was the angry promoter who chased the tour bus in Cameron Crowe's Almost Famous. I was the menu writer in Mitch Hedberg's Los Enchiladas. I was the accidental Stalker in Jonah Kaplan's short, Stalker Guilt Syndrome. I was half a criminal duo in the short, Selling In. I even possess some rare bootleg out-take footage of me as an angry valet in the second Mighty Ducks film. This, of course, only for the true fan. I am currently working on a new one-man show called Coming Clean. It seems to be about sex, technology, marriage and conspiracy. It will premier at the New York Comedy Festival in June.Oh, it was an ugly piece of writing, totally unworthy of him. So I rewrote it. I know, I must have been drunk. Worse, I decided to email it to him. I even had to extrapolate the email address based on the page, since it wasn't officially there. I'd never know if it would get to him and he'd think I was an idiot and ignore it, or not get to him at all. But something was operating that required I write to him. So I did:Subj: Thanks and a small offeringNow, come on, it still ain't Faulkner, but it is a bit improved, yes? And I tried to be both nice and snarky (a combination I figured he'd appreciate) in the intro note. Then I went to the show on Saturday. (At what point is it interest, and at what point is it stalking? One of the actresses on my show noted: "It's not stalking if you like the person. Stalking is in the eye of the beholder." So, since I know I'm sane and at moments attractive, I don't think it's stalking. I'm just being an active fan. Yes?) Oh, and in addition to the funny stuff being extremely funny, he has very nice arms.
Date: 6/7/2001 11:59:12 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: RandeeDawn
To: marc@marcmaron.comMarc, You're a genius. A fabulous writer, a poignant observationalist and the funniest guy I've had the pleasure of seeing (and bringing friends to see) ever since I moved to New York. Looking forward to the new show at the Comedy Festival, too -- and whatever else comes around the corner. And thank God for the website! It's about frickin' time, although I know it's been up a little while now.
Anyway, you've got better things to do than bother with a total stranger's email. I'm writing because ... well, the website bio sucks. Maybe you meant to make it sound that way, but it feels like a shoddy resume, and man, it needs fixing. I'm a writer. I get paid to do this stuff. I'm not funny, but I do write. So if you will allow me to perhaps make a contribution -- a thanks for all the, uh, the laughs over the years (look, nothing is better than "my demons eat your issues for breakfast") -- I'm enclosing below a re-written version of the bio. It still doesn't really capture your style (it's really just a list of stuff you've done), but I think this has a little more zip. Or maybe not. In any case, good luck and take care.
Best, Randee
Here's the thing: I once had a publicist who used this paragraph to open up my old bio: "Marc Maron is a stand-up comic by trade, but his performance style is anything but the typical set-up-punchline formula. Maron engages his audience as a storyteller with an intelligence that digs deep into subjects illuminating common truths that usually go unseen. There is a thought-provoking excitement watching Maron take the risks of uncharted territory and riffing on subjects ranging from corporate domination of the planet to why the cooking channel is the only pure television. He always manages to ride that fine line." He was very proud of that paragraph, and so were the others I spoke to who woke up from the stupor it induced. I think it's a pretty good description of me, so let's leave well enough alone. Over the years, I've done comedy wherever comedy would have me. I've appeared on many television shows -- going way back to "An Evening At The Improv" in the late 1980s through two Late Show With David Letterman appearances. I hosted Comedy Central's "Short Attention Span Theater" for about a year, and guest hosted four episodes of NBC's "Later." The mid-1990s brought a half-hour HBO special, then one on 1998 on Comedy Central. All in all, I've chatted with Conan O'Brien about 25 times on "Late Night," a few with Bill Marr on "Politically Incorrect," and about 20 other television appearances best filed under "miscellaneous." More recently, I appeared on NBC's "Late Fridays" wearing the infamous silver suit I originally seen on my second Letterman appearance. Currently, I appear on "The Gotham Show" in a recurring segment called "The Gotham Desk," which can be found on The Metro Channel. I spent much of 2000 writing and performing a one-man insanity performance called "Jerusalem Syndrome." It started off uptown at Nada, and ended up Off-Broadway at The Westbeth Theater — and the notices were very favorable. Essentially, "Jerusalem Syndrome" was a poetically paranoid rant on corporate culture and the quest for spiritual fulfillment. And a cheap-ass video camera. The show chronicled my personal search for religious meaning in such disparate locales as Jack Kerouac's grave, Hollywood, the Phillip Morris headquarters -- and ultimately Israel. Where the cheap-ass camera finally died. I performed the show at the prestigious U.S. Comedy & Arts Festival in Aspen to rave reviews, and sold out houses. A book of the same name, based on the show will be out later this fall on Random House's Broadway Books imprint. If you think you've seen my face on film, you had to look fast -- but it was there. I was the Angry Promoter who chased the tour bus in Cameron Crowe's Academy Award-winning "Almost Famous." (Hard to tell if my performance led to the Award, but you draw your own conclusions.) I appeared as the Menu Writer in Mitch Hedberg's "Los Enchiladas"; The Accidental Stalker in Jonah Kaplan's short, "Stalker Guilt Syndrome"; half a criminal duo in the short, "Selling In," and I even possess some rare bootleg outtake footage of me as an Angry (see a pattern here?) Valet in the Mighty Ducks sequel. This, of course, is only for the true fan ... and my mom. Currently, I'm working on a new one-man show called "Coming Clean." So far, it seems to be about sex, technology, marriage and conspiracy and will premiere at the New York Comedy Festival in June. So far, there are no cheap-ass video cameras.
Okay, so the show totally rocked. See quote above; that was there, although I think I've heard it before. Some of it was Greatest Hits, which is okay, although my opinion is -- if you've posted the routine on the website, it can no longer appear in the show. But I won't be offering up that one. I'm not entirely stupid. Then I got a reply! Short, sweet, and more or less kind of what I would have expected if I expected anything. And not telling me to go screw. And it was said on this day:
Subj: Re: Thanks and a small offeringA far more reasonable man than you'd ever think, based on the show. I wrote back, of course, with further praise, but don't expect he'll write back again. At some point there'll be a moment where through the compliments he'll think, "Hey, this is some wacko chick with way too much time on her hands" and that'll be it. But I got a reply! I'm dead chuffed, as the Brits might say. Time for dinner.
Date: 6/12/2001 2:06:23 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: MMaron
To: RandeeDawnThanks for your help. Maybe I'll incorporate some of your changes. Maybe I'll just resent you for telling me all those good things then slamming with the bio sucking thing but I doubt it. I'll read it over. I just redid that thing recently. Fuck.
Marc
